The ten ways the Jays would have been legitimate contenders in 2011

Every now and then it's fun to escape from reality and imagine a world where everything works out just the way you want it to. Here at the Glory Jays we like to try and keep a level head when analyzing the goings-on in the baseball world so we can make rational and informed opinions. But it's Christmas (or close enough) that we've decided to treat ourselves to an early Christmas present and list the ten things the Jays could have done so far this offseason to have vaulted them into the realm of real fucking contenders to win the World Series. Some in the list were actual possibilities, some not so much. I'm also taking into assumption that (within reason...ish) money isn't a concern.

So without further adieu:

1) Sign Adam Dunn to play first base
It's crazy to actually say that an athlete making $56M over 4 years is a bargain, but those are the times we live in (or rather MLB players live in), and that signing was a fucking steal. There's almost no risk for the White Sox as Dunn has been the same player year in and year out for basically his entire career. He hit at least 40 homeruns per year from 2004 to 2008, and 38 in 2009 and 2010. His OBP has never dropped below .350 and his career OBP is .381. He's no star defensively, but if it would have taken the Jays to offer $60M over 4 years to sign him, I would have done it.

2) Keep Shaun Marcum
This is a no brainer if you're looking to legitimately contend in 2011. In the real world, the Jays are rebuilding and I like the trade for Brett Lawrie, but obviously you don't trade one of your top starting pitchers for a prospect when the goal is to win now.

3) Sign Cliff Lee
This is where I start to deviate into fantasy land, much like the Tao of Stieb did in a post earlier this month. I can't think of any real reasons why Cliff Lee would have signed in Toronto unless the Jays had already made all the moves I've listed (plus what I am going to list) in this post, and if they threw an obscene amount of money at him. He obviously had a hard-on for Phillidelphia, regardless of the fact that they shipped him off to make room for Halladay last off-season, and convincing him to come to the Jays would have been next to impossible. But give him $200M over 7 years and he signs. Ahhhh money solves everything.

4) Trade for Dan Uggla
The rift-raft the Braves sent to Florida for Uggla made me really question why Anthopolous couldn't make a deal for the slugging second baseman, The only reason I thought of was that he didn't see him with the team long term and didn't want the distraction of negotiating (or not negotiating) a contract extension with him. But that's a lame excuse, even if it wasn't just fabricated by me two seconds ago. Either way, for the Jays to have truly been contenders in 2011 I would have made the trade, and moved him or Hill to third base.

5) Give the reigns to JP Arencibia
Let the kid play. There really weren't many better options on the free-agent market, and this team I'm building in fantasy land is so ridiculous(ly good) and as long as JPA doesn't forget how to catch a ball we should be ok. Plus there's Molina backing him up just in case.
Note: Even though I'm throwing money around like it's going out of style, I still wouldn't have matched 3 years and $18M for John Buck or 4 years and $50M for Victor "soon-to-be-DH" Martinez. That, my friends, is ri-fucking-diculous.

6) Make the trade for Justin Upton
I realize Arizona was really just testing the market, and wasting everyone's time, but seeing as how I just threw $200M at Cliff Lee, rationality has gone out the window. Offer Drabek, Lind, Stewart, Hech and D'Arnaud and see if he bites. And he will. Because I say so.

7) Sign Manny Ramirez to DH
Manny is in serious decline, but he's still on on-base machine. If we can find a way to get him back on the juice, and undetected, for 2011 he'd be a force at DH.

8) Do whatever it takes to get rid of Vernon Wells
At this point in his career, what is Vernon Wells worth? Would you be comfortable with $10M per year? Less? More? Let's use $10M per year as a benchmark and assume other teams view it the same way. Trade him to a willing partner and eat 50% + of his contract to make it happen. Remember, we have Justin Upton now and need to make room.

9) Build a crazy good bullpen
Sign Rafael Soriano and Bobby Jenks, and bring back Scott Downs. That ought to do it.

10) Bring back the $82 Jays Pass
In case Anthopolous was wrong in assuming that fans will return to the ballpark once the team is winning.

Starting Line Up:
1. Escobar SS
2. Snider LF
3. Upton CF
4. Bautista RF
5. Dunn 1B
6. Uggla 3B
7. Ramirez DH
8. Hill 2B
9. JP Arencibia C

Starting Rotation:
1. Cliff Lee
2. Ricky Romero
3. Shaun Marcum
4. Brandon Morrow
5. Brett Cecil

Merry Christmas Everyone!